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[–]Post-Cynical 160 points161 points ago

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Good on you for reacting quickly and well.

You hear horror stories about things like this happening where no one did anything. It's good to hear that there are people out there that would step up and help.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 89 points90 points ago

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I know it's a weird thing to say, but if it weren't for the horror stories, I would never have had this "plan" on how to react - I mean, the idea of seeking support in others. Once I felt that backup, everything just happened. I can't really explain...

[–]amaurer 41 points42 points ago

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Thanks for sharing your backup tips. I had never heard that, but I'll keep it in mind. And thanks for having the courage we all wish and should have to do what's right.

[–]seeker135 20 points21 points ago

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I knew you were female after about three lines. Don't know how. But your self-image needs a little polish. So chin up, smile, and say out loud, "I am a good person, because I do good things".

Some lucky soul is going to get themselves a heck of a partner. Keep up the good work. And stop being so damned hard on yourself.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 19 points20 points ago

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Some lucky guy already has :D

[–]DramaLLama090 26 points27 points ago

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DAMMIT

[–]seeker135 -1 points0 points ago

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Good for both of you. I imagine he will want to reward you and simultaneously show you his masculinity after you have told your tale. It says here you're exhausted in the morning. ;-)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Get your man to reward your good deed with a nice romantic stiffy. Then all you'll needed is some paper towels to get it off your chest.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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It's probably wise to read about scenarios like this, where people regularly do the wrong thing, so that we can go right where others go wrong.

[–]adrenaline_devine 53 points54 points ago

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Wow, good job man! Doing something like that takes COURAGE, and I bet that old guy was SO happy you showed up! What happened to the attacker, do you know if the old guy had a good description of him for the police when he left? Also, do you know what started/provoked the attack?

[–]goschumi1986[S] 52 points53 points ago

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Chick ;) I don't know if he had a description (it would surprise me as he was so shocked), but I'm going to go to the police myself, just in case they need more testimonies... Apparently, the old man was in front of the line at the supermarket, and the younger man was hurried. I don't know, it seems kind of dumb -it always is- but that's how I understood it...

[–]adrenaline_devine 37 points38 points ago

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Hah, as soon as I typed "man" I was thinking "what if it's a girl..." Lol, I'm a girl too, my bad on inadvertently calling you out. Who says we don't have metaphorical balls? ;)

[–]goschumi1986[S] 18 points19 points ago

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I wouldn't say I have balls, even metaphorical ones... I mean, you said it takes courage, but it doesn't... It's not like you make an actual decision to do something. I decided to seek help in others, everything else just happened...

[–]adrenaline_devine 22 points23 points ago

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What do you mean? You could have just stood there like everybody else was doing, you totally made a decision. And that decision you made in turn effected the decision of the bystander you picked to help you, because until you decided to say something he was deciding not to do anything. You had more "balls"/"courage" than anyone else on the street because you made the decision to help/recruit help for a complete stranger. Don't sell yourself short. :)

[–]goschumi1986[S] 10 points11 points ago

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It's funny, because I know I would write the same thing... And still it doesn't feel that way, you know? Seeking help doesn't require balls... I just think I came in "prepared", with this little "plan" of recruiting strangers... it's a little step, anyone can do it, and everything else just happens... Thank you for your kind words, but I feel like giving them to somebody else :)

[–]adrenaline_devine 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, I feel ya. It's different from the other side of the fence. But I'm sure the old guy you helped would offer you some more kind words of his own if he had the second opportunity. ;)

[–]goschumi1986[S] 6 points7 points ago

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His "thank you" is what got me in shock, actually...

[–]adrenaline_devine 7 points8 points ago

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Well as long as you don't let the fear of future "thank you's" putting you in shock hold you back from being the super hero you really are inside then you'll be just fine... :D

[–]goschumi1986[S] 4 points5 points ago

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Ha :D

[–]raziphel 2 points3 points ago

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courage after the fact often seems simply like common sense. you did fine. :)

[–]Ashiro 6 points7 points ago

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It may have been auto-pilot once you made the decision but making that decision was far from automatic and took some serious metaphorical brass balls.

It would have been much easier to just ignore it, make excuses about being in a hurry and not getting involved. Being female there'd be even less social expectation for you to jump into a potentially violent situation.

Yet you did and you saved that that old man from a nasty situation.

[–]Drinky 2 points3 points ago

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Courage is being afraid, but doing it anyway. The proof that what you did takes courage is the fact that others would not, out of fear. Be proud, you deserve to be!

[–]RobotBuddha -2 points-1 points ago

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Who says we don't have metaphorical balls?

I feel horrible saying this, and I do not in any way mean this to detract from a shockingly good deed by OP. To be fair though, from the description it sounds like she grabbed a guy next to her and had him deal with the actual danger while she helped out the old person.

[–]adrenaline_devine -2 points-1 points ago

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Thats what it sounds like to me too, now that you say it like that. But I was commending her for being the only one in a group of strangers to make a concious decision to act in a way that would help someone she did not know who was clearly in need. Not saying she was the only one who could have saved him, or anything other than stating the fact that nowadays you just don't see people use common sense anymore. She handled the situation perfectly, and anyone could have done something, but she was the one who initiated the steps to diffuse the situation.

[–]napalm_beach 3 points4 points ago

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No, it sounds like she put herself between the attacker and the victim. She didn't just hand the guy his wallet.

[–]adrenaline_devine 5 points6 points ago

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Good call, I take it back, I was hasty to be passive agressive. I want to edit my comment but then yours would be strange so here's an upvote and my formal redaction of the first sentance of the afforementioned comment. ;)

[–]WorthlessWisdom 24 points25 points ago

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The idea to gather bystanders is a well good one.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 7 points8 points ago

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I think so too! (it wasn't mine)

[–]eroverton 1 point2 points ago

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That's strange though, because I heard it was the other way around - the more bystanders, the less people are inclined to help, because everyone else thinks someone else will do it.

[–]scalarjack 26 points27 points ago

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I think the key is to actively engage someone to help. That breaks the feeling that someone else will act.

[–]WorthlessWisdom 3 points4 points ago

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I also think seeing someone trying to help will encourage bystanders to help as well.

I've been in a situation before where two people were involved in a scuffle and only once someone else had stepped in did it cross my mind to step in. Almost if I didn't step in to help sort out the situation, I was stepping in to help the guy who was helping to sort out the situation.

I dunno if its a strength in numbers thing or people are just quick to follow the lead (in my case and OPs case).

[–]zed_three 5 points6 points ago

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If you see someone in trouble, I heard the best thing was to tell specific bystanders what to do. Say someone is having a heart attack, you point at someone and tell them to call the emergency services while you help the person.

[–]virati 2 points3 points ago

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Imagine the worst case scenario if you're in a large group of people watching someone get their ass kicked. That is: you start helping out and everyone (remember, this whole time they've just been standing there, doing nothing) just now watches you two get your ass kicked.

The moment you ask someone if they want to help is the moment they realize that at least one other person is in it with them. That helps SO MUCH. People don't want to stick their own neck out in such a situation because the crowd hasn't given them any reason to think that they care. The moment they see one other person care is the moment their decency comes back and overcomes the fear of just joining the victim on the floor.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 1 point2 points ago

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I don't think it's a number thing, or just a matter of following the lead. I think it's a matter of drawing people in, giving them a little push in the back... Like you said!

[–]ThrustVectoring 4 points5 points ago

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The trick is how you solicit help from bystanders.

If you just appeal to the entire group of bystanders, you get the bystander effect (from an evolutionary perspective, there are very real costs to always being the first to help from a group of people, so there's a waiting race that tends to go on).

If you single out a single person and get them to do things, and repeat until you have enough people doing helpful things, then that works a lot better.

[–]V2Blast 2 points3 points ago

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Well, yes, but if you gather them and ask them to help you, you're more likely as a group to suceed.

[–]Palewan 25 points26 points ago

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I am glad you did this.

I had a very similar experience where one man was basically past the point of beating the other guy up in the middle of a very busy road in Boston and now was going to humiliate him and start to pull his pants off. I was shocked to see that about 50 bystanders were watching the scene doing nothing including people in cars. I put down my beer and walked out of the bar I was at and picked the assailant up in a bear hug turned around and pushed him away saying "You win. Walk away." Surprisingly he did without even turning to look at me. I helped the other guy up and he also walked away. I was shaking like crazy. I shook my head in disgust at all the other bystanders who did nothing.

When I got back in the bar it was a mixed reaction of you have balls of steel and you are fucking stupid and crazy. My sister was there and she was super pissed at me. She asked me what would I have done if they had pulled a knife on me. I responded that if the assailant had a knife I am sure he would have probably already pulled it, and to me it was a choice of being able to live with myself if a knife was pulled and I watched someone murder someone else without doing anything.

People like you renew my faith in humanity to an extent but seeing all the people who did nothing makes me very sad.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 7 points8 points ago

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You did very good! I'm glad you did that! :)

I responded that if the assailant had a knife I am sure he would have probably already pulled it, and to me it was a choice of being able to live with myself if a knife was pulled and I watched someone murder someone else without doing anything.

Something had to be done and even though I didn't know what to do, I was never actually afraid - you just do... And the risks, those are things you think of looking back, not beforehand...

[–]Palewan 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah it is amazing what adrenaline will do as well. As soon as you make the initial decision to do something it becomes a non-issue. It is making the choice that is the hard part.

[–]mootherofpearl 21 points22 points ago

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way to think through what you should do! You really handled yourself well. It's pretty normal that you are reacting to the stress now. you kept it together while it was happening and now your body needs to get the stress out.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 6 points7 points ago

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I didn't really think it through, it seemed more like the thinking just happened... If that makes any sense. The only thing that I did think through was asking other for help, but I didn't think that through on the spot. It was just like a scenario that was already in my head...

[–]zacharymichael 25 points26 points ago

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Thank you. People like you give me confidence that there are still good people in this world.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 13 points14 points ago

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I guess you never know how you are going to react when you are confronted with this kind of thing... I'm not particullarly good, and these bystanders deffinately aren't bad... What made me do it was the fact that I felt supported because there was someone to back me up... I honestly believe most people want to help, but are so shocked that they don't know how... Or maybe they are afraid... I don't know what I would have done if I felt "alone".

[–]keiyakins 2 points3 points ago

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You're right. But being able to be the 'seed' that gets people out of shock and into helping, that's a useful skill that not everyone has. It doesn't take much - just asking the young man to help you changed the course of the incident for the better. So know that you did the right thing, and in a broader scale that many of the people who read this story will now be prepared to do the same if the need arises.

[–]raziphel 3 points4 points ago

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speaking of seeds, who knows how many of those bystanders will intervene next time they witness a problem? how many will share that sense of brotherly responsibility with their kids? that's a powerful seed indeed.

[–]cI_-__-_Io 2 points3 points ago

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these bystanders deffinately aren't bad

Thanks for saying this. I've already been in this kind of situation a couple of times and when you tell about it, people always make you feel horrible for not stepping up. Am I a bad person because I was scared (terrified) for my own life when it happened? I'll remember your advice, asking someone for backup before breaking in.

Also, it's not always "defenseless/old person" VS "single unarmed guy". The situations I've witnessed were more like "single ~20yr. old drunk" VS "3 or 4 ~20yr. old thugs".

[–]lphoenix 11 points12 points ago

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Awesome! Better to fall apart later rather than during--it's just adrenaline. It's interesting that the attacker didn't expect any of the onlookers to intervene. Shows where we've come.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 8 points9 points ago*

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It's a strange feeling though, once you decided on what to do, you just do without thinking. And then afterwards, you just feel without thinking... It seems like your body takes over both while it happens and after. It still feels verry surreal...

EDIT to add: I don't know if he didn't expect people to react... To be honest, I didn't think he expected/was thinking anything... To me it felt more like he was in some kind of zone and me suddenly standing in front of him snapped him out of it...

[–]monkeytrunks 7 points8 points ago

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You sir are a "TRUE HUMAN BEING!" Thank-You so much for what you have done for humanity!

[–]goschumi1986[S] 8 points9 points ago

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Okay, so, I'm still a bit in shock. I still don't really understand what happened - or better, how it happened. I'm reading your reaction and just thinking "What?". I didn't do anything for humanity, I simply didn't do anything. It seemed like an autopilot took over. I can't explain it. It feels so surreal.

[–]Duct0r_ 5 points6 points ago*

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You keep saying that, but common sense would dictate that YOU DID do something. Stop acting like you didn't do anything, because if you didn't step up and gather people, that old man would have been most likely robbed and maybe could have been seriously injured.

Also, you did help restore in me a little faith in humanity, so there's another reason you should be proud of yourself. Your post might have even awakened some people here to sack up if anything like this ever happens in front of them.

I'm all for being humble, but don't act like you did zilch.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 2 points3 points ago

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I know I did, it just feels like I didn't - it's hard to explain...

[–]monkeytrunks 0 points1 point ago

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That is exactly what I mean! You are so humble - it is so "AWESOME" to see this now in this day that - everyone is so so so "Detatched".

You stood up for something you BELIEVE in - and i am proud to be a redditor along side you!

[–]kbilly 7 points8 points ago

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But the truth is, I'm not a particullarly good person, and I'm not to be thanked or praised... I don't feel like I did anything. It was an automatic pilot, if that makes any sense.

You may make shitty choices and do shitty things, as you feel you don't deserve any praise here. But when it comes down to it, you at least know when the shit hits the fan you are inherently good. Be proud of that.

[–]KeyboardChemistry 3 points4 points ago

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This is why it is so important to educate people about the Bystander Effect. Even when you know about it, it still takes genuine courage to act.

Well done, sir.

[–]OhDonPiano 6 points7 points ago

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In addition to that, there's the "Diffusion of Responsibility" phenomenon and (interesting, but not as relevant) the "Social Proof" phenomenon.

[–]nosecohn 2 points3 points ago

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How did you ask the young man to help you? Do you remember the words and tone you used? How did he signal that he was willing to help? There's so much talk about the bystander effect that I'm curious how it was negated in this one case.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 11 points12 points ago

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I walked to the scene, with a steady step (you know, like when you want to run but don't), feeling like I should do something but still thinking on how to best approach this. I passed the young man, then realised he might be able to help, turned my head, said something like "euhm...?" with my head pointing at what was happening. I think my "euhm" must have sounded impatient or something, it wasn't like "euhm, what's going on". I think it must have been pretty clear from my body language that I wanted to help (I didn't turn around completely, I didn't aproach him, it must have been clear that I wanted to go "to the scene"). He looked at me, then at the scene, then back at me and realised what I wanted to ask, gave something of a nod. I read that as "let's go", so I went. He followed. There was no real asking involved, no real words or tone of voice.

[–]Rebecksy 3 points4 points ago

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This is so awesome, you made my day

[–]SgtPsycho 2 points3 points ago

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From other redditors' comments in similar situations, (I have not done this myself) this is correct. The way to break Bystander Effect is to tell (not ask) someone to do what you want them to do. They probably already want to, but your action motivates them, and breaks them out of a passive, stunned state.. In a shocking situation like this, no-one wants to be the first, but as soon as at least one person start doing something, others should also join in.

That said, there is no way of telling whether anyone else will actually help, or if it will be effective.

[–]biddily 3 points4 points ago*

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To let you know you're not alone...

2 years back I was in a grocery shopping lot when I saw a man trying to rip the purse off a woman holding a baby with so much force she dropped the 6 month old. I screamed getting the attention of the 6 other people in the lot and started running towards the guy. The other people turned to see and started running as well. The guy freaked and jumped in his car and took off. A was shaking for hours after that. The cop I spoke with said something about adrenalin.

About a year ago I was walking down the street when I saw a guy in a car cut off another car which swerved hitting a telephone pole - which landed right on the car. Wires snapped flying everywhere... I ran to the nearest house and told them to call the cops then ran to the car to make sure the guy was okay. He was getting out, trying to walk with a broken leg, arm, and concussion... made him stop and sit - then banged on another door to get some ice... shaking quite profusely after that event as well.

(also a girl)

/I once stood on the side lines with 300 people watching 12 guys severely injure another 3. Shit was serious. Picked a guy up, flipped him over and body slammed to the ground head first breaking his neck. 6 guys getting one guy down kicking the crap out of him. People were trying to stop it, and they just moved down the street a bit and started again. The cops showed up fairly quickly, but we were all rubbish at describing what happened and who the drunk bastards actually were. I've always regretted not stepping in - but I was too scared to act. Too many people involved and I was afraid of getting hurt, or killed. We were on a bridge and could have easily been thrown off.

[–]jsunchu8710 2 points3 points ago

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probably that is the feeling one gets after genuinely helping others, would love to feel like that some time, your post might have just changed the way i would react to those kind of situations..

[–]GodHatesChristians 2 points3 points ago

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You handled it awesomely.

I thought about how I would respond to the McDonald's beating. At first, I thought I might have elbowed the attackers in the face. Later, I decided I would have just bought two sodas, and then slushed them in the faces to shock them into stopping. Also, if they decided to come at me, they would no longer have reliable traction.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 1 point2 points ago

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It's stories like that McDonald's beating that makes you wonder. I would be too much chicken like to attack the attackers. The slush-idea actually seems like a solid plan! Asking help from strangers is more tailored to my personality. I am more like a chicken then a tiger :)

[–]tinymarae 2 points3 points ago

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From your username it sounds like you are a Michael Schumacher fan. Are you?

[–]goschumi1986[S] 2 points3 points ago

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I used to be a huge fan - like, insane! Now, F1 kind of lost its appeal... Good thing or not? :)

[–]tinymarae 2 points3 points ago

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Same here. I still follow f1, but haven't enjoyed it since 2006. But a brave chick who likes fast cars and Michael Schumacher, kudos.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Same here. I even visited the Ferrari factory once. My dad (all suited up) pretended to have an appointment with Schumacher. I was told to play along. Thank god he wasn't there anymore (missed him by ten minutes). I almost wet my pants, that's how nerveous I was. Now who's calling me brave :D

[–]turtfan 2 points3 points ago

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Thank you - not only for helping the older man but in advising other people on how to deal with similar situations. If I'd had the nerve to act, I doubt I would have had the clarity of mind to ask for the aid of others.

[–]ksalley 2 points3 points ago

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Something like this has the same physical impact on your body as a crash. Adrenaline makes you feel shaky! Go girl you did a good thing im an awful situation. Now sit down put your feet up and may e cry or yell :)

[–]herbtacular 1 point2 points ago

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Do you know what events led up to the fight?

[–]goschumi1986[S] 1 point2 points ago

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It seemed like the younger guy was in a hurry and the older men stood in front of him in line at the local super market. That was about everything the old man told me. I don't know, like I said before, it seems such a stupid reason, but then again, very often it's stupid reasons that lead up to a fight, I guess...

[–]FakePlasticShrimp -5 points-4 points ago

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It's usually women.

[–]donkboy 1 point2 points ago

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It's like your little grinchy heart realized the true meaning of Christmas is your helping your fellow man and has grow 2 sizes.

[–]imballin 1 point2 points ago

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But the truth is, I'm not a particullarly good person

hey dude, capital-F Fuck that attitude. a good person is someone who does good things. you did a very good thing. you're a good person.

[–]NEWSBOT3 1 point2 points ago

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good job miss! (madam?), i wish i had more than an upvote to give you!

[–]goschumi1986[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Miss :) and one is more than enough ;)

[–]FavoriteFlatPillow 1 point2 points ago

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I think it's really admirable what you did. I always consider these situations and think, "What if I'm wrong?" Just stepping into a situation without knowing who's in the wrong. Is siding with the one that's "losing" always the right one? I know there are not many justifiable reasons for violence but maybe something seriously infuriating occurred. Regardless you stopped the fight and that's a great thing.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 2 points3 points ago

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This is my attitude in a lot of things. I only care who's right and who's wrong if it is of any relevance. In the case of violence, it's not relevant. The violence just needs to stop. After that, we can talk about right and wrong again.

[–]RadiantMind 0 points1 point ago

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The violence just needs to stop. After that, we can talk about right and wrong again.

Truer words have never been spoken. Kudos to you!

[–]Fuck_You_Im_Scottish 1 point2 points ago

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Good work on doing the right thing. You stepped up and acted in a situation where most people would have merely observed.

That said, I can't help but notice something disconcerting about this thread. You've repeatedly stated that "you're not a good person" and that "you didn't do anything." Forgive me if I'm making too much of an assumption, but it sounds like you have some issues with self-respect and self-acceptance. You've spent more time in this thread denigrating yourself and your actions than you've spent doing anything else. That's sad really because you seem like you are a good person. At the very least, you have in you the capacity for courage and compassion that most people lack. It's a shame that you don't appear able to see that.

My armchair psychologist recommendation would be to just relax on all of the self-deprecating comments. Being humble is fine, but you're kind of shitting on yourself. It's okay to feel proud about how you handled this situation. And it's always okay to love yourself and recognize your own worth. Maybe these might be things you could take some time to consider, and maybe even talk to someone about. Talking is always good, especially with trained professionals. They can help you make important strides in how you feel about yourself and your life.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 0 points1 point ago*

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Thank you for being so concerned for my mental well-being. But let me assure you, everything's fine. The way I see it, being good/bad isn't a matter of black and white. It's a matter of black, white and zillions of greys. When something isn't white, this doesn't mean it's black. When I say I'm not a particullarly good person, that doesn't mean I think I'm an absolute bad person. When I say I didn't do anything, it's because 1. I don't feel like I've done anything because it was some kind of automatic pilot and 2. even if I realised I did it, it still wouldn't be something I would feel proud of.

I don't think people should pull themselves down. Nor do I think people should inflate their ego's. I think I accepted the fact that I'm no saint and I'm no devil - I'm human and try to be just that at the full of my potentials. If this leads me to make mistakes, so be it. Hopefully I'll learn from it. If this leads me to do good, so be it. In either case, I'm me, the best and the wordt version, the only version there is. I'm just trying to be the best person I can be - I'm not trying to be the best person I cannot be. I have flaws, and I will always have them. I accept that fact, but there's nothing wrong with trying to overcome them. There's no faillure in that...

I hope this will put your mind at ease. Mine is :)

EDIT for clarification.

[–]kidNurse 1 point2 points ago

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but reading your lovely comments feels so strange. I don't feel like I did anything. It was an automatic pilot, if that makes any sense. ... I think it's the adrenalins fault, but it feels like I wasn't really there... I don't know, maybe someone can explain this better, everything feels very strange...

Holy F-K, you are a superhero and didn't know it

[–]raziphel 1 point2 points ago

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you made my day. :D

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Nice! I hope you get to see the old guy another day.

[–]wheeldog 1 point2 points ago

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I know what you mean by feeling surreal. I've stepped in to many such situations and each time it's auto-pilot. Good on ya for being a decent person. The Hall of Justice is right this way, here's yer cape. Just joshin' ya... It does get easier the more times you help out a person in need. But it's always surreal when violence is involved.

[–]Thizzlebot 1 point2 points ago

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And this is why spider-man is way more inspirational than any "real" person.

Spider-man has inspired me to break up 3 different fights. [true story]

[–]GreenBrain 1 point2 points ago

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Similar thing happened to me. A group of 24ish men started to beat a twelve year old. So I got in the ring-leaders face and told him to back off. Immediately a group of young-mothers got involved and the bullies left. I guess nobody wants to be first. Kudos to you.

[–]frankwdux 1 point2 points ago

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Good for you, I wondered that as well for the longest time until last Christmas I was at a bar back home when i hear some drunk guy sitting in his truck arguing with his friend outside trying to drive drunk. I hear the drunk say "i don't have anything to live for". so i hop into the passenger seat and tell him "if your gonna die were gonna die together". the look of sheer panic told me he wast ready so i took his keys and tossed them to his friend telling him "hey bro, save your buddies life" and walked away. It had me shacking so bad and that was even after I'd been drinking for a couple hours.

[–]radioBirdman 1 point2 points ago

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I totally admire what you did and have done similar a few times back when I was single, but I'm somewhat ashamed to say that being a step-dad of a 8 year old and the dad of a 7 week old baby (and a husband / breadwinner) means I avoid potentially dangerous situations like that because I'd be hopeless as a parent & husband if I got jabbed with a needle full of HIV. Same reason I no longer pick up hitchkikers. I'd club the fucker in the back of the head before he had a chance to harm me though (assuming I happens to be carrying a claw hammer of course). Still, nice freaken work. You ARE a good person :)

[–]MH2 1 point2 points ago

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how many ppl feel a little sexist for assuming it was a guy up until the second edit. no need to up to show u agree, just pointing it out

[–]kronso 1 point2 points ago

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"EDIT TO CLARIFY: I'm a girl..."

That's why they were shocked. Because you had more guts than any of the "men" there.

Good job.

[–]rblack91 1 point2 points ago

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If anyone ever happens to be in the old man's position, the best thing to do is single out a person in a crowd and ask them to help. It all but eliminates the bystander effect. If they don't help, just keep trying to get attention. YELL! at the top of your lungs, and keep singling people out (use descriptions like "You in the yellow shirt!" etc)

It sounds stupid, and it's mostly common sense, but it can save your life.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Keep singling people out. I think that's the most important thing.

[–]HatMatrix 1 point2 points ago

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I was outside of a coffee shop and a two men got into a fight (one older man and one middle-aged). There were 3 guys that came out of a near by store and were watching it escalate. The older man took out a knife and a girl who worked at the coffee shop came running out and separated them giving the other time to run away.

[–]ThrustVectoring 1 point2 points ago

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Disregard bystander effect, acquire karma.

[–]rainfaint 1 point2 points ago

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Most of us will never be in the situation you were in. And of those of us who find ourselves in that situation, most of us will not act with the same bravery you did. You are, and will forever be, a guy who found himself witness to a bad situation, did the right thing, and did it well. Glad to share a planet with you.

[–]zaferk 2 points3 points ago

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I'm a girl

You wanna go out?

[–]glassuser 0 points1 point ago

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You vigilante! You should have stood back and let the police do their job!

Just kidding, good for you. It makes me happy to see people taking personal responsibility for their wellbeing and the wellbeing of their neighbors.

[–]scalarjack 0 points1 point ago

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I know you feel like you didn't do something good, but you did. You may have been going on automatic pilot in the moment, but the good thing you did was well before this incident. It was when you visualized that you would help someone in a situation like this, and how you would help. That you would create a plan to help, that is a true moment of goodness.

A visualized plan for a crisis is vital to acting and not freezing in this kind of situation.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 1 point2 points ago

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A visualized plan for a crisis is vital to acting and not freezing in this kind of situation.

When people hear these kind of stories in the news, they are always shocked that nobody did anything, maybe even judging them. But after what happened today, I understand how this can freeze a person. I didn't have this idea, I heard it somewhere and it stuck. I'm glad it did, because I would have frozen.

[–]Epenth 0 points1 point ago

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Well, you did another good. I would not have known what to do if I were in your shoes. And certainly I have not heard that advice before.

You set yourself as an example for everyone else, including me. Have a pat on your back, dudette. :)

[–]Stroger 0 points1 point ago

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Who you think you are is irrelevant. It how you act in the moment that defines you and you just did a great blessed thing. Peace.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Who you think you are is irrelevant.

It might be. To me, it isn't :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I saw a big dude smack a little dude outside the bar one night, and I just kind of stared the situation down while the big dude yelled at the little dude. I don't know what the situation was, so I figured I'd just make it obvious that I was watching, and that I'd step in if the big dude started hitting the little dude again. I still don't know if I handled that correctly. I didn't wanna step in and get my ass kicked and then find out the little dude was in the wrong all along.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 0 points1 point ago

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You did what you did, and you had your reasons to do what you did. You shouldn't judge yourself looking back. Maybe you would have other reasons now, or maybe different elements would have different weighth now. Maybe you would choose another course of actions now. That doesn't mean you handled yourself wrongly. It just means if you handle now, handleing correctly would be different than back then. Just my opinion.

[–]HerpinAndDerpin 0 points1 point ago

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Hey man, Great job! I also hear terrible stories like that, when nobody does anything. I really appreciate what you did, and i'm sure you not only impacted us readers, just imagine what that old man is going to say to his significant other, his kids, his friends. All the people around that seen you do this, garunteed you opened there minds. Like I said, Good job man, I know you said 'im not a particularily a good person' but little changes step by step can make a HUGE difference. Cheers mang :)

[–]The_Justicer 0 points1 point ago

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Truly good people don't generally describe themselves as such. You are probably a good person. Don't turn down the praise, you earned it.

[–]GabrielMSharp 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think many of us are 'good' people. It's way too simple a term.

But what you did was great, smart and inspiring. Thanks on behalf of everyone in need who wasn't graced by your actions.

[–]ravia 0 points1 point ago

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Kudos, dude. That's great. I think the old guy surely appreciates it. But you get my fucking total admiration for your "EDIT TO ADD". Why? Because it was a good thing you did. But does it make you great? No. Does it make you infinitely superior to others? No. Is there some timid guy who might not intervene so much? Probably. Is he infinitely inferior to you? No. Do you now speak Russian or some other foreign language you didn't know before? No. Would I feel safer on the street at night with you around? Maybe. If it was like four big guys, I don't know! Would I do the same for you? Probably. Am I giving you reddit gold? No. And you didn't ask for it. And you don't deserve it. And you know it. I hope you can take that in the spirit intended.

Goodness happens on many, many levels. A single action doesn't make you "all good" or "all bad". From what I've seen, much of what makes people more like "bad" is overly attaching too much to this sort of thing and thinking they've mastered goodness itself. Dude, look around at the world. You want to know why goodness limps around all the time, instead of growing, flowering, developing, spawning more goodness? That's why! So...like I said, if you really don't think that makes you particularly good, then maybe, just maybe, that's one good thing about you. And I bet there are others, but they will remain emergent in the variegated, multiple truths of our complex beings, and no single act.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Would I feel safer on the street at night with you around?

The answer would be "no" since I'm a dudette.

I hope you can take that in the spirit intended.

You understood it in the spirit I intended - so yes :)

[–]Nighulas_Flarty 0 points1 point ago

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You done good. :)

[–]gregtron 0 points1 point ago

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You don't have to be a good person to do good things, and neither being a good person nor doing good things relies on you thinking you are a good person. You deserve all the praise Reddit's giving you.

[–]bokassa 0 points1 point ago

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Good on you! Might I ask where in the world this transpired?

[–]goschumi1986[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Belgium.

[–]nosecohn 0 points1 point ago

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Everything during and now after feels so surreal. I think it's the adrenalins fault, but it feels like I wasn't really there

For what it's worth, whenever I get a big adrenalin hit that's not accompanied by any physical exertion to "burn it off," I feel really strange for quite a long time. I have to go do some sprints or some push-ups or something to feel normal again.

[–]80toy 0 points1 point ago

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Props. I don't know you at all, but a person's character is defined in situations like these.

I'm not to be thanked or praised

I don't feel like I did anything

Also, real men (i'm assuming your a dude, but i guess you could be one bad ass chick) say this. They just do it without hoping for praise.

[–]Rebecksy 0 points1 point ago

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She's a she

[–]80toy 0 points1 point ago

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DAAAAAAAAAMN!

[–]FakePlasticShrimp 0 points1 point ago

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If I seen an old man getting punched and not fighting back, I'd be straight there pushing away the person hitting him, given the context being that he could of potentionally raped the guys daughter, I wouldn't hit him for the old man. I would hit him if he stomping on his head or something though.

I was about to get angry and say why didn't you just bomb in there and separate them... then I seen you're a girl, and I wouldn't want my sister to do anything like that. It sickens me that other men could watch something like that, and still think of themselves as men who have dicks. Fucking pussies.

[–]blakfeld 0 points1 point ago

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Good for you man, I hope if that ever comes up in my life I have the courage to do the same.

[–]meatfish 0 points1 point ago

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So what If it was the kid's wallet that was being stolen by the old man? You just assisted a good old fashioned burgling. He thanked you for the spraypaint he was about to huff.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think that that's what happened. But even if it was, it wouldn't have changed anything in my opinion. The violence was unacceptable and needed to stop.

[–]anon1821 0 points1 point ago

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You did the right thing

[–]EndLegend 0 points1 point ago

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Respect bro, give yourself a highfive for me. With more people like you this world would be a far better place. I commend you for not reacting with violence as I would have.

[–]windynights 0 points1 point ago

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Worth my visit here tonight! You might not think yourself worthy of praise. I beg to differ.

[–]sezzme 0 points1 point ago*

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EDIT: Realized-it-was-dumb hero-fantasy idea hereby deleted. Sorry about that.

We return now to the OP's regularly-scheduled thread. Nothing to see here....

[–]Tbone139 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not to be thanked or praised.

You are more than the sum of all of your life's actions. You may have done what you did out of instinct, but those instincts wouldn't have kicked if you didn't feel empathy for the old man. To prove my point, you wouldn't have done squat if the attacker was just wailing on a garbage can instead of a person. In that moment, you were an amazing person, and you deserve to feel good about it. On behalf of that old man and victims everywhere, thank you so much!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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kudos

[–]teemark 0 points1 point ago

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I think the fact that you did it "on autopilot" says that you are perhaps a better person than you care to believe. Regardless, kudos to you for helping a victim of abuse, and possibly making the aggressor think twice before victimizing someone else.

[–]cirrhosisofthe_river 0 points1 point ago

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Whether you are a "good" person or not is irrelevant. You did a good thing!

[–]Frankocean2 0 points1 point ago

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" I'm not a particullarly good person".

Yes, yes you are. This is what comes down to, not words, not good thoughts in your hear sayind "Oh I am a good person!, I think about it and yeah, I am".

You just walked the walk.

[–]zaferk 0 points1 point ago

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Would a serial killer who saved a random person on the street be a good person?

[–]Frankocean2 0 points1 point ago

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No...but I dont think the OP is a serial killer.

[–]zaferk 0 points1 point ago

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Alright , so then your morality is not consistent. Go readjust it.

[–]Frankocean2 0 points1 point ago

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So, Anna who helps everyone, but doesn't help a particular person, is not a nice person?.

[–]zaferk 0 points1 point ago

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Whoever Anna is, my question is if a bad person doing a solitary good thing magically becomes a good person.

[–]Frankocean2 0 points1 point ago

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And my question is precisely the same but in reverse.

This black and white reasoning of morality is a failed one IMO.

[–]DramaLLama090 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know... just wanted to et this off my chest, but nobody's picking up the phone...

CONFUSED HERE

[–]doogytaint 1 point2 points ago

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She probably wanted someone to talk to so made a few calls, but no one answered.

[–]DramaLLama090 0 points1 point ago

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I'm a dumbass I get it now..

[–]drbr0wn 0 points1 point ago

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Good job.

[–]frankieh456 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of "The Rum Diary." Miss you Hunter...

[–]ihateyourface 0 points1 point ago

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Uh, you left the part out where you ninja kicked the guy beating the old man up in the face.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, and this part too: "It's morphin' time!" "Pterodactyl!"

[–]ihateyourface 0 points1 point ago

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[–]maradonuts 0 points1 point ago

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avenge kitty genovese

[–]ddunnpsyd 0 points1 point ago

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Well done friend. I hope I can do the same as well for someone someday. I will keep this story in the back of my mind, should something occur.

[–]Rain12913 0 points1 point ago

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Well done.

The bystander effect that contributes to the complacency that is often the case in situations like this can be neutralized if individuals are removed from "the crowd" and singled out. For example, pointing directly at somebody and assigning them with a specific task to do during an emergency situation is far more affective than yelling "somebody call 911." What you did was perfect, you isolated that young man and pulled him along to help with you.

[–]goschumi1986[S] 0 points1 point ago

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This kind of knowledge can really change the course of events. More people should know about this effect and what you can do to change it.

[–]ialsolovebees 0 points1 point ago

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Oh quit telling yourself you're not a good person.

You're certainly not a bad person, that mantle was taken up by the attacker.

A good person, however fearful they may have been, would have done exactly what you did. Good on you, and may all of your lady-boners from here on out be firm and long-lasting.

[–]imawesomeyay 0 points1 point ago

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Stop being so humble. You did a wonderful thing. Nothing pisses me off more than people taking advantage of older people. Being an overly empathetic person, it seriously breaks my heart thinking that someone could possibly hurt my mom or dad one day when I'm not there to help them. You saved a man that couldn't protect himself, and you deserve all the praise you get. I'm seriously tearing up right now. I don't even know you but I'm proud of you. Signed, Also a girl.

[–]phi_is_all 0 points1 point ago

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I understand the auto pilot thing. Doing the right thing just happens when it's right in front of us. Soon we will see it happening with politics and money in the country and throughout the world. We don't have an instinct or outlet to care about money and distant problems like what happened to you. If a problem comes up in front of us we can fix it. We all want BP, Bank CEO's, Crazy ass world leaders to burn in hell. But there isn't anything we can do about it.. Those lucky few execs/powers that be at the moment have the keys to a backroom that we don't know about and can't get into. But now we have reddit & /b/. I view it as like a rope bridge for the way to fixing problems by bringing the community and the world together. One day this rope bridge can and will become a bridge connecting people like the world has never seen.

[–]YoungRL 0 points1 point ago

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You DID do something, you ARE good person, and you ARE to be thanked and praised. Thank you for what you did!!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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DID HE DIED

[–]LordXenuActual 0 points1 point ago

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Actions speak louder than words, and reactions speak louder than actions. Your reaction to a man getting attacked possibly saved him. It's good to be humble, but don't deny credit where it's due. You're a good person. In fact, you're already a better person than the people that just watched because you had the will to do what was necessary.

You assessed the situation and ended it quickly and safely. So you're not just a good person now, you're a good person who can act accordingly under pressure.

So have some upvotes! You deserve more than upvotes in my opinion, though.

As for the shaking, it's the downside to adrenaline. Give it an hour or so and it will go away. If your teeth are chattering and you feel a sort of cold, that is also the adrenaline.

You've done a beautiful thing: you protected somebody who couldn't protect themselves. That's something some people in modern society only see fictional, larger-than-life characters doing on a movie screen.

[–]jinchoung 0 points1 point ago

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Holy fuck... AND YOU'RE A GIRL!

pat on back wonder woman. You gots good karma and juju comin' your way.

[–]TheMadTwatter 0 points1 point ago

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i cant believe people dont do anything in that situation. i dont understand how its possible to just watch. sometimes people make me so angry

[–]goschumi1986[S] 0 points1 point ago

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They just panic and freeze. I don't think they don't want to help... When I heard about similar situations, I didn't understand it either. But when you actually see it happen... I think people are unprepared for this kind of thing, and just panic and freeze. The fact that you do think about it is, I think, a first step. You will have at least a notion on what to do and everything else will just follow. Things wouldn't have happened the way they did if somebody told me how to react, just by engaging others.

[–]petit_mal 0 points1 point ago

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yes! good for you. remember the bystander effect, and don't let it get to you. you don't have to be a great leader or a super hero; just do the right thing.

[–]kankle_king 0 points1 point ago

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EDIT TO CLARIFY: I'm a girl...

[–]jello_aka_aron 0 points1 point ago

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I would say that if you're 'auto pilot' has you helping someone in need, you probably puts you pretty squarely in the Good Person category on some level. Well done!

[–]lobido 0 points1 point ago

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Any idea what the motivation for the incident was?

[–]celticagent 0 points1 point ago

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You say you're not a good person, yet your automatic response (without thinking) was to help this man, even putting yourself at risk? I'd say you are a hero!

[–]getfuckingreal 0 points1 point ago

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"God created man [and woman], but Samuel Colt made them equal"

[–]whatisnanda 0 points1 point ago

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Babe, you did GREAT! I am proud!

[–]Arcon1337 0 points1 point ago

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You're a hero. Remember that.

[–]kermityfrog 0 points1 point ago

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I can imagine it would have been even more difficult to help 15 years ago before everyone had cell phones. Now you know that you could call 911 before stepping in to assist. Back then you'd have to make a decision whether to step in or run for a payphone.

[–]GreatBigPig 0 points1 point ago

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No matter the response of others, you know that you did the right thing. Your memory of bravery will be with you for ever.

[–]the2ndblahmonster 0 points1 point ago

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You are a girl I would marry.

[–]momster 0 points1 point ago

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Being a girl makes it even more profound. Good job. You inspire us all.